Photo

I'm trying to figure out why I haven't been shooting lately.
I'm not sure if you know, but a few weeks ago I was doing this project called 365 days, where I shoot a self-portrait every day for an entire year. It was a self-directed project; no one was making me do it. I thought it would be a good way to keep my photo mojo flowing and learn more things about my new camera. I was doing well for a while, good days and bad, and then after day 51 I just stopped. I had two days in a row where I just wasn't feeling it. I was busy doing things, and then felt I had to interrupt my life to take a mediocre picture. I thought about it, and realised that I was losing interest in the project because I had to force myself to shoot, whether I wanted to or not. I couldn't see how that would make for interesting pictures, and I would rather have quality, not quantity. So I stopped. I haven't taken any self-portraits for a few weeks now. That's all fine and dandy, but I haven't taken any pictures, either.

Well, that is not entirely true. I've been taking pictures of my stash (back when the light was good) and I'm sure I'll take pictures of my finished objects when they're uh, finished. Maybe I just got burned out from taking pictures every day and need a break. Maybe I'm depressed, and losing interest in one of my favorite hobbies. (Very probable.) This happened before after I finished art school. I didn't shoot very much because I was tired of over-thinking everything. The self-critiques would start right after I pushed the shutter.

I feel a bit guilty for not playing with my (semi) new toy and the cameras I brought back from Pomona, but I'm sure I'll get around to it soon enough. Maybe I'm too dependent on digital. Maybe I should walk around with my film camera and develop a roll. Maybe I need to look at other people's pictures for inspiration. I'll spend some time on Flickr later today.


*Other potential reasons for abandoning the project.
A) I don't leave the house too much, and I got tired of taking pictures inside the apartment every day.
B) I got tired of looking at myself, and sps only made it worse.

{Anyway, the whole reason I am worried about this is because I had picked photo as my grad school major if I got in. I don't want this kind of burn out to happen again, not while I'm in school. I want to be motivated, and excited. In undergrad, I absolutely hated my photo classes. I liked my electives a lot more, for the most part. I don't think I made any work I was particularly proud of there. I have a degree, but I don't feel like I deserved it. I guess at this point I am only choosing it for my graduate work because I already have a BFA in photo, and I think it would be easier. But I shouldn't pick something just because it's easier. I don't know, after all this time, I wonder what drew me to pursue the medium in the first place. Maybe it should have been left as a hobby. Maybe I should get a second BFA...but in what? I wish I knew what direction to take so I could follow it already.

In other news, I figured out those hat decreases when I woke up and the hat is all done now.